Meet The Team

The tactical brain of the outfit. Trained in park perimeter patrol, biscuit negotiation, and squirrel psychology. Leads missions with precision, and never misses a vibe shift.

🔖 Motto:

“One nose to rule them all.”

The tactical brain of the outfit. Trained in park perimeter patrol, biscuit negotiation, and squirrel psychology. Leads missions with precision, and never misses a vibe shift.

🔖 Motto:

“One nose to rule them all.”

Built for speed, silence, and style. Otto specialises in long-range scent deliveries and high-velocity zooms. If something’s gone missing, he’ll find it and be back before the kettle’s boiled.

🔖 Motto:

“Swift as shadow, sharp as nose.”

Chief tester of throwables, splashables, and chewables. Lenny ensures every toy meets Ministry joy standards. Known for his enthusiasm, drool-based feedback, and willingness to retest… constantly.

🔖 Motto:

“If I can’t eat it, chase it, or sit in it — it’s probably a trap.”

Highly intelligent, emotionally attuned, and swift to intervene in bone-based disputes. Socks is the Ministry’s conscience — and its lookout for any tail-chasing that gets out of paw.

🔖 Motto:

“Let’s all take a paws and think it through.”

Fluff-forward, mischief-enhanced. They manage all public engagements, guest greetings, and sofa security. When not on duty, they’re often found in the biscuit storage area “doing inspections.”

🔖 Motto:

“We’ll get back to you — after this stick.”

Beau’s nose is insured by the Ministry. He can track a crumb through chaos, and has memorised 413 smells — including fox, fear, and forbidden ham. When all else fails, send in Beau.

🔖 Motto:

“Every trail tells a tail.”

Oscar oversees all outward communications: campaign posters, press releases, and wag-based PR. Hairy but effective, he has final say over every bark, caption, and paw print.

🔖 Motto:

“Fluff first. Questions later.”

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